This is where we see the beauty of life

even though we are steeped in tragedy.
you will mourn and grieve,
and in your own time
you will come to
realize that though she was meant for you
it is destined to be in some other place.

Though you both wanted to stay together, here
it was the choice of the fates of who stays in the end.

But remember this above all else: she was yours
through and through, and its not "until the end",
because there is no end for things like this.

I think the most important thing you can ever
understand and appreciate was that

For a while she was yours, and you were hers
and that's all one can ever really hope for.

Rain comes

first with that gorgeous smell.
and then with the flood.

but i learned how to swim
and enjoy this paradise
as much as the ducks do.

I think I figured it out

I'm basically the comedic relief
when things around here get too much
when all the "real" players experience
reality.

They quick switch the camera to me
and follow me around, rather than
show their young, charismatic star
at the breaking point.

it's vague until it'sobvious

so i'll just keep my eyes open
and my mouth closed
waiting to watch truth unfold.

enlightment

is one seed at a time
breaking open in the earth
amongst thousands of others.

becoming an open vessel
retrieving the sustenance from the
world around it.

a growing mind.

I don't think it really matters

if i have a soul or not.

because if i do it is clearly able to influence my decisions and moral characteristics.

and if i don't its still apparent that i have some form of a conscious mind and morale fibers that help me to determine what is right and wrong.

so as long as i try to find happiness while keeping other in mind, I am o.k. with whatever ending it comes to. All we are is all we have so we need to make it a time to remember when we felt alive inside.

The question is not whether or not I will die

But will I perceive the next world
the way i perceive this one?

You've been given this intelligence

Use it to understand yourself, above all things.

Though I wore my cloak

fate still struck me.
a reminder to take this
seriously.

to embody energy
to be a catalyst
a lightning rod
a contributor
to the flow
of life
through this world
is all that I pray to be.

Today

it poured.
inside and out.
how long had the words you wrote
been waiting for me to find them?
i found myself happier than
i have been in a long time.

never had a window made me this happy
so happy that the rain rolled
all across my face
laying back into the couch
my truest smile in weeks.

The lions and the ides

must've known.
because they held their lashing tongues
with more moderation this season.

but there is still time
for those off their guard
to be caught so.

It's time

to stop holding back.
The potential repercussions
are too much for me to stand

Haven't I done enough
to screw everything up?

I will pretend to say
that I don't really care
but still i step lightly
just like i used to.

the light never leaves

without returning.
its only retreating
just when it has to
when we obliterate
ourselves with the
zones and phases
of our lives.

but when the time is near
the light heads for the door
escape pods ready, evacuate now.

the light in your world

it as crisp as you remember it?
do the colors pop,
the edges clash?

or is it one of those
gray winter days?
the ones where the
light just fades
everything blurring
at the seams of space
a dull palate laid before you.

There isn't always more than one way

to skin a cat.
certain lines
only form
certain shapes.

but if the next year
is anything like the last
all i can imagine is just how
lucky i would be
to be that happy,
that sad
that full of life.

Maybe if you hadn't been the first

you might have ended up the last.
and maybe if I had been first
it would be you
moving on to something new.

All the thoughts that you've forgotten

all the people along the way
all the memories that did fade
they store all of them in a bottle
and sell it in the summer
for little kids to create
from the soapy consistency
that was your life.
and all the pieces were together
now they all float their separate ways
and they pop on blades of grass
or at children's fingertips
something that you didn't remember
now something that you'll always miss.

All that I am

is a lugee hocked over the edge of the upstairs porch.
falling 30 feet to the cold winter ground seemed like a lifetime,
a slow-motion replay of all the things I had ever been.

the coming of spring brings a shimmering glint from the sun
watching as it falls knocked around by the current of the early March winds.
So loud in fact did the winds speak, that its splatter against the bulkhead
wasn't heard and the visuals camouflaged
against the sky blue painted doors below.

Just one rain drop

that's all i can really ask for.
all that I could ever hope to be.