To Everyone I Know.

"You’ll be grateful that a long time ago this kind of person chose to be your friend. But now you’ll realize that even a person like this outgrows his friends. Even a person like this makes mistakes, can’t always hold on to everything they’d like to, can’t always force the world to spin in the direction of their choosing. You’ll hug him longer than necessary and tell him to keep in touch. And you’ll know, finally, that it had nothing to do with you."

I've always left before anyone had the chance to. I always disconnected before everyone else. Before time ran out, I was gone. So, this is me, all alone, with all the people i left behind having already moved on, and me wondering where I went wrong, now that I feel as though I'm the one that is really out of touch. Every day becomes a giant question mark of who I am, and I am left to ponder whether or not I made the right decision. Especially now that I feel like the one who is left behind. Each and every day.

Just so you know, it wasn't your fault. You were great. You were you. You were more true than I ever could have been. I just didn't feel like myself anymore. And so I took drastic measures that I thought would make everything better. And they worked, and they didn't. But so much changed so fast that its hard to tell what was the answer and what wasn't. And I'm sorry that I'm still lost in the confusion. But I am glad that I took the time to apologize, even though they were long overdue. And I'm still sorry for that, to this day.

Things like this happen. To everyone. I wish they didn't. And I wish that I could take it back. Each and every day. So I hope you don't think about me often. Though my regrets still haunt me, even when I sleep. But at least they are mine to bear, and hopefully no longer rest on the shoulders of another.

Idling

The potential is staggering, overwhelming.
So instead of trying everything, anything,
we end up doing nothing at all.

and our heads our in the ground.
and our eyes are closed.

but the world is still just as vibrant,
still waiting just as patiently
for you.