Scene: The Grocery Store

The place where you called me the worst grocery cart organizer there could possibly be. I decided to understand this potential new theory and have discovered that:

It is not mathematically possible.

To be the worst grocery cart organizer I would have had to have failed to possess all the qualities that are considered the epitomes of organizing things in the grocery cart.

If there were certain qualities to look for in an organizer's cart, the greatest would be the separation of fruits and vegetables in their entirety from the heavy items- cereal boxes, cans of soup, etc. The downward slant of the cart's carrying section causes weights of the food to be shifted, which causes undesired forces on the mixed in fruit and vegetables, ultimately yielding undesirable fruits and vegetables due to bruises and soft spots.

There could be an infinite amount of qualities along with the one mentioned above that would make me be considered a bad grocery cart organizer, proving that I'm pretty close to being the worst grocery cart organizer. But I do possess this one trait of keeping the fruits and vegetables (and sometimes the bread) separate. If i did not possess this quality then it would be understandable that I was the worst, assuming that I already had all the ill-desired qualities as well.

So maybe my percentage of good organizing skills is low, but there is still the chance that someone out there doesn't separate their fruits and vegetables.

All I know is, he ain't me. He's mister 0% and i'm mister .00000000000ooooooo1%. So you can call me terrible, that's a title i've earned. I take that happily in stride. Because I am. You can call me subpar, because i'm down in the trenches with all the other guys who are underperforming in their grocery cart organization. Telling me to try harder would be perfect the perfect bit of advise.

But when you call me something I'm not, it stays under my skin, crawling for days. I am not actually "the worst". but it stays with me as if it is trying to tempt me to be that. Like a scarlet letter for everyone to see, read and know about. To let everyone have someone that they can point to and say, "well at least i'm not the worst guy, he doesn't even separate his fruits and vegetables". That is not a name that fits, but a title you awarded me. It is a crux.