unthawing

its unnerving; i'm unraveling
at the idea of just waiting things out.

like coming in from the cold
and waiting for my hands to unfreeze.
the slowest torment. and i lose focus
throwing myself all over the sink.
curled up clutching my icy digits.

i clench my hands tight. and hold. and can only think of the misery.
how it stops you in your tracks, how it captures the mind and all i think about is the thaw.
your bones warming, blood flow returning.
thinking of just getting through this ordeal,
romanticizing a return to comfort

you try to rationalize it.
telling yourself that it will be all over soon.
but soon doesn't come early enough.
and the pain lingers. a continuous pushing.
and it lasts, until it doesn't.
the ache goes away for a while.
and i forget about it. and move on.
never really learning from the experience.
dooming myself to relive it over and over again.